Blog 35. Featuring Poorly written Het.

xXPumpkinGutsXx: I'm gonna try something huge here
xXPumpkinGutsXx: I'm going to try and read one of the het fics.
Kaulitzcest: Oh snappp/
xXPumpkinGutsXx: YES
xXPumpkinGutsXx: youneedtobewithmeeeee. so I can snark.
Kaulitzcest: Aye aye captain!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Alright... lemme see...
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "Working at 666 is my idea of hell on earth. I need a way out. And maybe Tokio Hotel are the answer" Oh my god this is the fic.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: CHAPTER ONE
Kaulitzcest: -Takes a deep breath-
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I threw the vodka bottle up into the air and caught it behind my back. The guys cheered and whistled, I took no notice. This was my nightly ritual.
I had been working in this bar for 2 years now, the owner Eddie had taken me in from the streets. Promised me the world, and when did I get? 666."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Oh the drama!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "That’s the name of the club, extremely appropriate I though because this was my idea of hell.
666 is the best grunge/gothic/punk/emo club going, all of the best bands wanted to play here, from Madina lake to Fall Out Boy to MCR.
The only thing that made it worth while was Mo and Rhi."
... Mo and Rhi? and lawl @ the description
Kaulitzcest: Mo and Rhi? o0
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Mo and Rhi. Sounds like a bad 90s sitcom
xXPumpkinGutsXx: WACKY HIJINX AT A BARRRRR
xXPumpkinGutsXx: blah blah blah skip skip skip OKAY IT GETS GOOD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "Rhi was checking the books, seeing who was on tomorrow night when I got back to the dressing room.
“So who’s playing tomorrow night? “ I asked her, sitting down next to Mo and putting my legs on her.
Rhi sighed, “No one exciting. AFI, Funeral for a Friend………”
Silence
I looked over at Rhi, her deep brown eyes bulging as she stared at the book.
“What, Rhi?” I aked her, getting up off of Mo and standing behind her.
I read over her shoulder at the last name on the book.
No way
No FUCKING way
“Tokio Hotel“ I whispered.
Mo heard me and shot up from the sofa.
“WHAT !“ she screamed.
We all jumped up and down, screaming the dressing room down.
Tokio Hotel were coming to 666 tomorrow, finally it felt like my life had some sort of meaning.
Tears prickled in my eyes. Tokio Hotel were going to be at this very club tomorrow night. We would get to meet them, finally.
We all walked back to our flats above the club, arm in arm.
Tomorrow was going to be electric."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: That was REALLY long.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: But um, AFI is kind of a big deal. And I love the dramatic announcement of Tokio Hotel.

LAWL SHE'S CRYING.

What does 'electric' mean?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: OH GOD THEY'RE SET TO PERFORM TOO? AS WHAT? THE DANCING SKANKS OF 666?
Kaulitzcest: YES XD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I began to feel dizzy but Bill caught me in his strong arms."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ...uh, okay, Bill, strong arms, let's go with that. THE BOY'S A TWIG.
Kaulitzcest: I think she's got Bill and Georg or Gustav mixed up xD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: And um, honestly, I don't think he's that graceful..... he'd probably lose balance because he's like, 18 feet tall >>
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ... the DIALOGUE.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine softly, his arms pulling me close into his body.
Just as I was getting into the kiss, he pulled away.
Shit, did I do something wrong?
“I don’t normally do this. I’m sorry if I’m being too forward. But damn, I think I love you,” he laughed lightly."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: There are no words.
Kaulitzcest: WTF?!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *No words.*
Kaulitzcest: ....>>;; xDDD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: BY THE WAY HE'S SOBER.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I knew Bill was a firm believer in love at first sight."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: O rly?
Kaulitzcest: PSHT NO WAI.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: What, did you walk by him like 5 times?
Kaulitzcest: I hate to be the one to break it to you, darling, but your little crush is in love with his twin brotherrr.
Kaulitzcest: xDD.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: I bet that got her dizzy...
xXPumpkinGutsXx: xDDD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: My friend has a huge crush on Bill Kaulitz.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: It's so cute. xD
Kaulitzcest: I have the biggest crush on Bill.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: She's like "HE'S ACTUALLY TALLER THAN ME!!" because she's like, literally 6 feet tall
Kaulitzcest: Ask anyone.

XDDD.
Kaulitzcest: Wow.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: xDD
Kaulitzcest: Thats so tall o-o
xXPumpkinGutsXx: It is o-o
xXPumpkinGutsXx: For a girl, even
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "He pulled me in for another kiss.
I felt his tongue stud, the metal gently touching my tongue."
Ew.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Um, you're sticking your tongue in very far.
Kaulitzcest: Thats only hot when it's Tom's tongue/dick its touching.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ... when did Billa become a MANWHORE?
Kaulitzcest: Ever since he decided to try and make Tom jealous.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I didn’t resist as he gently tugged at my arm, bringing me back into his safe embrace.
“Meet me outside the back entrance during your break,” he whispered into my ear.
His hot breath tickled the back of my neck.
We savoured the moment; Bill blowing butterfly kisses into my ear."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT
xXPumpkinGutsXx: oh and romance: ur doin it wrongz
Kaulitzcest: xD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "The relationship between Bill and Linzi intensifies and Mo gets involved in a relationship of her own."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: THEY'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR FIVE MINUTES!
Kaulitzcest: Thats so sad.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: I feel ashamed. Lindsey is my middle name.
Kaulitzcest: N'aw!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Oh of COURSE Sue-- errr, Linzi, is the lead singer of Skanks of 666.
Kaulitzcest: GO FIGURE.
Kaulitzcest: But Bill only likes guitarists.
Kaulitzcest: With dread locks!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: >3
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I heard the gentle screech of the mic being turned on, Eddie was about to bring us out.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, 666's very own, Your Sweetest Nightmare!"
We gave each other one final look of good luck and stepped out onto the stage.
Wolf whistles filled the air as we positioned ourselves, all behind a mic and Rhi guarded by her drum-kit.
We started up, Mo's bass line vibrating in my chest.
As I began to sing I blocked out the crowd, but one person stood out and I didn't have the strength to over look him.
Bill was standing with Tom, Georg and Gustav at the bar, nodding to our song.
I couldn't take my eyes off him and I knew he felt the same as he gazed at me.
My face began to flush, matching my hair with it's powerful black accents.
Surprisingly enough, I managed to end our performance with the courage I had gone without at the start and threw my mic stand across the stage, rock star style."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ... what!?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Your Sweetest Nightmare is the stupidest name ever for a band.
Kaulitzcest: Ya think?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: and way to break club property, Sue
Kaulitzcest: xDD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "My eyes went to the van, one of the back doors was open and a leg was sticking out.
Bill's"
xXPumpkinGutsXx: OH GOD THEY CUT OFF HIS LEG
Kaulitzcest: OH NEIN D:
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I smiled as the rest of his body emerged from the vehicle and he spotted me as he closed the door.
He held up a black, zip-up jersey and grinned.
"I got out here and thought that you might get cold."
He kissed my cheek when he reached me and wrapped the jumper around me." what.
Kaulitzcest: Zip up jersey?
Kaulitzcest: There is no such thing, darling.
Kaulitzcest: Not that I know of, at least.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: yeah!
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "He held me closer, our faces inches away.
"If he's doing anything to harm you then I swear-"
"Bill, you don't belong in this world. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you," I whispered, choking on my own tears.
He could see the look of fear in my eyes and held me tight, stroking my hair and calming me down.
"Don't cry, Linzi, it breaks my heart. I didn't mean to push it. I just don't want anyone hurting you in any way.""
xXPumpkinGutsXx: YOU'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Poor Bill.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Poor, poor, Bill.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Can you imagine if he actually read these?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ""That's better. Can't have my girl crying when she could have that beautiful smile on her face," Bill smiled softly." oh my god.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ARE WE WRITING ABOUT THE SAME PERSON HERE?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Mo is shacking up with Tom now.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Rhi's probably gonna either die or get stuck with one of the 'ugly' ones.
Kaulitzcest: o-o
Kaulitzcest: -Hiss-
xXPumpkinGutsXx: oh god it gets worse
Kaulitzcest: Did she call them ugly?
xXPumpkinGutsXx: she hooks up with FRANK IERO
xXPumpkinGutsXx: No
Kaulitzcest: o_OEW.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: FRANK IERO. WHO IS MARRIED.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "Tomorrow night will be my last night with Bill."
It's not a hardship, you've known him for like an hour.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "All of a sudden an arm reached out from within a dark, side corridor and pulled me in.
I was about to scream but I saw the outline of manic hair and soft, full lips.
“Bill! God, you scared me,” I gasped, smiling.
He put his finger up to his mouth, “I’m supposed to be out in the van, we are going back to the hotel. But I made an excuse that I’d left something behind. I had to see you before we left,” he whispered.
We stood in silence for a dew seconds, gazing into each others eyes.
He reached out and put his hand on my face, the other on my waist.
We kissed softly but passionately, Bill pressing me firmly up against the wall.
“Don’t,” I moaned, my resistance draining.
He smiled sexily and bit my bottom lip." WHAT.
Kaulitzcest: o-o;;;;
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *curls up in a corner and cries*
Kaulitzcest: -Cuddles with- Don't cry! Its okay! We can pull through this.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *Sniff* I-I guess...
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "Silence
I looked down onto the bleak street below and aggression filled my body.
This wasn’t fair.
How could I be dealt such a shitty hand?
I was such a good person. Friendly, caring, thoughtful and I had the biggest heart.
I was stifled here.
And then this light came along. Bill."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Way to toot your own horn
Kaulitzcest: xDD
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I held my cigarette up to Bill’s lips and he took a drag."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *dies a little more inside*
Kaulitzcest: Umew.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "“Come in. We just need you to do one thing and then we can go,” he said.
Us 3 girls looked at each other and slowly stepped into the room, curiosity killing us.
Their manager, David, was sitting at a table with a piece of paper and a pen sitting adjacent to it.
“Girls, take a seat please,” he said, indicating to the 3 seats in front of him at the other side of the table.
We all sat down, a question mark stapled to our faces. The guys stood by the wall behind us, smiling to each other.
“Girls, a contract is sitting there in front of you. A record contract. I want you to come on tour with us. As Tokio Hotel’s support band. Starting tonight,” David said, completely professional."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: WHAT.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: " I had to check that this wasn’t a joke. I was waiting for everyone to burst out laughing and to tell me to get real, why would they want us? Bill would tell me that I was completely deluded if I thought that he would ever want to be with me and David would rip up the “record contract” in front of my face."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Yes please.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I looked at Bill, studying every part of him. His skinny frame looked so fragile, but I knew I was weaker than him, and he knew that too."
... what's with this random description of Bill's like, nonexistent strength? Has she seen any pictures of something other than his face? There's NO VISIBLE MUSCLE. o__O;
xXPumpkinGutsXx: I just don't get it. How do people look at this and say "THIS IS SUM GUD WRITIN RIGHT HURR"
Kaulitzcest: XDD. Cause they're all idiots.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *sobs, clings*
Kaulitzcest: -Clings, comforts-
xXPumpkinGutsXx: There has been NO mention of Georg and Gustav.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Only once. One time.
Kaulitzcest: Thats so..ugh.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: MISSING: Georg and Gustav. Reward offered.
Kaulitzcest: I hate people who ignore the fact that they're both in the band, too.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Last seen at bar.
Kaulitzcest: With a group of skanks.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Or chapter 4.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Nah that time they were with the Twincest Twins
Kaulitzcest: Ah, yes, yes. Of course.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "Suddenly I heard the back door directly behind me jerk open fiercely and a sharp blade press up against my neck.
A warm, skinny body pressed right up to mine, a head resting on my shoulder, longish, brown hair tickling my cheek.
Eddie."
*what.*
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Eddie is their random boss dude.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: And um, apparently he has a sick fixation with Sue.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: Because all boss dudes MUST be evil, corrupt, and have a sick fascination with Sue.
Kaulitzcest: Of course, of course.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: "I looked at Bill, he was crying softly, weakening against his brother.
“Bill,” I whispered, longing for him to save me but knowing there was nothing he could do.
Eddie looked over at Bill and laughed sinisterly.
“Who would have thought it, Linzi falling in love. And what makes you think he feels the same?” He asked me directly, pressing the blade of the knife harder into the soft flesh of my neck. I winced at the pain.
“I do feel the same! I’ve never loved someone as much as I love Linzi. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I’m getting her out of here and we will be together. She deserves so much more than the life you give her!” Bill shouted angrily at Eddie, strengthening and trying to break away from Tom."
xXPumpkinGutsXx: ...
xXPumpkinGutsXx: *headdesk*
Kaulitzcest: KEEP HIM BACK TOM.
xXPumpkinGutsXx: PLZ.
Kaulitzcest: THEN GO FUCK HIM IN A CLOSET.